Words of Inspiration

I'm still really not in much of a writing mood but I thought I would post something that was on my mind. It's also something I thought would be an encouragement to others! God Bless! Jen

Quick Update

I just wanted to let all of my followers know that I had sinus surgery so I have not been feeling well enough to blog. Hopefully soon I will feel better to get back into the swing of things and begin posting again.
God Bless, Jen
                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                                       

What If

Even though I'm a very optimistic person it's only natural for me to have days when I'm down and not so positive. Being a mother of a special needs child isn't always easy but I wouldn't trade it for anything. For the past few days I've been thinking about how far my son has come and how extremely blessed we are. However, I can't help but think about the "what ifs." What if he's still in pull ups for a couple more years? What if he's never able to write his name or a complete sentence? What if it takes him a really long time before he's able to ride a bike? What if he's not able to tie his shoes? What if he's not able to take care of himself one day and be independent? These are the questions I ask myself a lot and wonder if other parents of special needs kids wonder the same things. My mom is constantly reminding me that I can't worry about the "what ifs" and I should look at the things that he IS able to do. Focus on the things he CAN do and not on what he can't. I was really struggling last week with this and I had to take a time out to thank God for all of the things that my lil man has accomplished. Years ago drs thought he may never walk or talk and there were several times he almost didn't make it. He surprised all of us by walking and talking. I also remember a time when I thought he would never say a word, never be able to drink through a straw, never be able to walk up and down stairs without holding on to the rail, never be able to drink from a cup or feed himself, never be able to dress himself, and never learn his abc's, shapes, colors, and months of the year. He surprised everyone with all of those things too, he just did it in his own time. I honestly believe that he will reach the other milestones when he's ready as well. My advice for other parents is to not give up hope because usually the ones that drs say won't ever do anything are the ones that surprise us when we least expect it.

I've also learned that getting down about it and thinking negatively will only make the situation worse. It gives into that pessimistic frame of mind and I refuse to let Satan get to me or my son. I want to give God the glory and let Him be in control of my thoughts and my son's life. I'm so grateful that the Lord ALWAYS has His hands on my lil man and is always protecting both him and I. I'm grateful that He has given me the knowledge to go through this process and the strength to overcome it. And just when I need to be reminded of how I need to stay positive and how blessed I truly am, God has special ways of revealing those thoughts to me. Just when I least expected it, while my son and I were at the library, he sits down to color on a sheet of paper and says "Look mommy I drew a circle!" Sure enough on that paper was a beautiful red circle! 

Life's Too Short

A few days ago the scariest thing happened and it will forever be etched in my mind. My son and I were driving on the interstate on our way home from Jacksonville. We were in the right lane and there was an Explorer a few feet in front of us in the left lane. All of a sudden the Explorer's tire blew and the person started swerving. The car came over into the right lane, hit the guard rail, and flipped about 3 times landing upside down. The car was pretty much crushed. It happened so fast, within only a few seconds. I immediately pulled over to help and the car behind me was already calling 911. Other cars stopped to help as well. As soon as the car stopped flipping and landed a guy crawled out along with his teenage daughter. I yelled and asked if anyone else was in the car. He then proceeded to get his wife out. Everyone was out and I was so relieved. I kept thinking how glad I was that there were no small children or babies in the car and that no one was trapped. The cops and rescue got there in about 10 minutes. The victims had blood all over their faces and I ran and got a blanket out of my car for the woman to apply pressure to her bleeding forehead. One woman that came to help before rescue got there was a nurse. Never in my life had my pulse beated that fast! And I also thought how grateful I was that I was CPR and First Aid certified. You never know when you're going to have to use it, that's why it's such a good idea for everyone to get certified.

After rescue had gotten there one of the cops got my information since I witnessed everything first hand. God was not only looking out for those people but He was also looking out for my son and I. If I had been driving a few feet further up the car would have ran us off the road and possibly flipped on top of us. It was literally something I have seen in action movies and I felt like I was on a movie set. I was just amazed at how the people crawled out of the car and got out so fast.

That experience taught me that life really is short and we never know what the future holds. Now I'm even more thankful for the small things in life and I don't take one single thing for granted. I've learned that there is power in people coming together and reaching out helping hands. God uses small situations as well as big in order to get our attention. Now more than ever do I have the desire to find a great church for myself and my son and to have a better relationship with Christ. Don't ever let the sun go down being mad or angry at someone and forgive with ALL your heart. Always hug your loved ones and tell them how much you love them. Say what you mean and mean what you say! Thank God for every breath you take! Angels are everywhere and it's up to us to recognize it. Be kind to everyone because you never know what a person is going through and it could be their last day on this earth.

Don't Quit

Don't quit when the tide is lowest, for it's just about to turn. Don't quit over doubts and questions,
for there's something you may learn. Don't quit when the night is darkest, for it's just a while 'til
dawn; don't quit when you've run the farthest for the race is almost won. Don't quit when the hill
is steepest, for your goal is almost nigh; don't quit, for you're not a failure until you fail to try.

~ Jill Wolf ~

A Woman's Footprints

One night a woman had a dream- she walked by the sea on the strand and images of her life appeared

along with some marks in the sand. Just her footprints and the Lord's- two sets, but sometimes one;

it seemed as if this happened when there was the most to be done. When she carried so many burdens,

and there was so much to do, she wondered why the Lord had not been there to help her through.

She questioned the Lord about it: "You said You'd be there for me, but it seems whenever I needed

You most, Your footprints I do not see. The Lord replied, "My daughter, I did what I promised to do-

when you see just one set of footprints, the opposite thing is true: while you were carrying everything

else, it was then that I carried you." ~ Jill Wolf ~

God Always Hears Us

I have always been a firm believer in the power of prayer. The past few weeks have been very stressful but I have managed to keep my head up. First off let me start out by saying that I now know what the saying "too good to be true" means. After several bad relationships with men I thought I really came across a great guy. All of my previous qualities that I had looked for in a guy were different with him, and I mean that in a good way. For some reason I've never dated a guy who had the qualities that a woman should look for and expect. Well, I thought this one could have been a keeper! But, low and behold I was wrong AGAIN! Turned out he wasn't what I thought and basically just stopped talking to me; I was dumped through a text. Ultimate no no! Before that happened I asked God to basically show me if he wasn't the one for me. Well, the text was my answer from God! Even though it took me a while to bounce back into the swing of things I bounced back even stronger than before. I realized that I'm still not going to change because of ANOTHER guy who did me wrong. I deserve the BEST and I know I will one day find it. For now I'm okay with being single. God showed me through that experience that just because we go through a rough patch in our lives doesn't mean we have to lose our integrity in the process. I know I will make someone happy one day but right now might not be my time. God also heard my prayers about my son's surgery. We have been praying that my son's airway will grow and that his hearing will not get worse. On the day of surgery the dr said that his airway grew, he was able to close the trach hole, and his hearing had gotten better! Praise God! He might not have to wear his hearing aids anymore either. Seven years ago, before my little man was born, God had His hands on me and him... and He still does! God is the same today, yesterday, and forever! I will always be a believer and never forget that everything happens for a reason. We must always learn from our experiences and make the best of them. Just because life gets us down doesn't mean we have to stay down. Get up and keep it movin!
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." ~Christopher Reeves~

Christian's Story

My son Christian was born July 3, 2004 and he was born at 32 wks. He weighed 3 lbs 2 oz and was 16 and a half inches long. He stayed in the NICU for about a month and a half. I was given 2 steroid shots to develop his lungs and he only needed oxygen for the first few hrs after birth. I knew before he was born that he had a heart condition called tetralogy of fallot and that he would need surgery. I didn't feel him moving when I woke up one morning and he hadn’t moved the night before...he always moved at night. The saying about God gives us a mother's intuition is very true. I knew I had to get to the hospital cuz something was wrong. Sure enough when he came out he was blue and the cord was wrapped around his neck, arm, and leg. The dr said if I had waited any longer to come to the hospital he would have died. When he came home from the NICU he had acid reflux which made things worse because of his heart condition. He would have blue spells(tet spells) every day just about 3 or 4 times a day. He couldn't breathe and sometimes would turn pale. It was literally like he died and came back. He was on a heart monitor that beeped every time it happened. Finally, at 7 months he had gained enough weight to get the heart surgery. That went well but a week after the surgery his left lung filled with fluid and he had a lot of breathing problems. He had to get a tracheostomy to help him breathe and had that for 2 yrs. He's now 6 and throughout his life he had to have multiple surgeries. He had hypospadias, which is where his hole on his penis is in the wrong place so they had to reconstruct that. They had to drop his testacles(they were undescended because of his prematurity), and he had kidney reflux, so had surgery for that. He had tubes in his ears and he wears glasses and hearing aids. Some drs said he may never talk or walk and he does both. He's in school and does ST, OT, PT, and works with a hearing aid specialist at school. He also has a very rare chromosome deletion. It's a partial deletion of number 7 and his drs have said that he is the ONLY person EVER in the whole world with this deletion. The only thing that they suspect is that it affected his internal organs. His geneticist in Jax FL is writing a paper on him. Since there's nothing documented in medical textbooks we are hoping that someone somewhere has heard of his particular deletion. He is extremely intelligent and extremely musically inclined. He has developmental delays but he has come such a long way. He also has an extra bone in his toe, which is unheard of, and may need surgery in the future. It's in both of his big toes so they're kind of bent. But he walks just fine. Since he has been taking ST and gotten his hearing aids his speech has improved dramatically. He also has what the drs call a thin membrane in his heart that is also very rare and may need surgery on that. His airway is still small for his age and he is still a pretty little guy. But his drs say he's normal on the growth charts. He's 6 and weighs 44 lbs. He has been thru so much but is def a survivor! I also forgot to mention that since he had the hypospadias and the undescended testicles(can be referred to as ambiguous genitalia) when he was inutero the penis looked like a vagina. So the dr said 99.9% positive it's a girl and needless to say we bought all pink, including pink dresses lol! Even when he was born they had to run tests to make sure he  didn't have any female parts internally and he didn't. His penis looked completely normal and you could clearly tell he was a boy. But since they still wanted to run their tests he didn't have a name for a little while and was the only one in the NICU who didn't have a name. Finally, when the results came back that he was all boy my dad came up with the name Christian! And one last thing...God truly does work in mysterious ways. After my son's heart surgery, he had another blue spell. He was intubated and after about a week or so they were going to extubate him. His main dr(which was awesome) said he was driving over the bridge to work and had his hands on the steering wheel and said something told him(GOD) to call the hospital ASAP and tell the drs to not remove the breathing tube yet. They didn't and later when they tried to remove it he was having significant breathing problems. His dr said that it was such a close call because of all the years he's been in practice he never saw a child as blue as Christian was. So after all that they realized that he needed the trach. He still has quite a road ahead of him but he is truly a living miracle! It’s hard to believe that 6 yrs ago I thought he might not survive. God is great and does answer prayers! I have learned thru all of this that we must thank God for every breath we take and to never take anything for granted. Sometimes the small things are really the big things!

Love Note For Parents Of Special Needs Parents

You're A Good Learner

There have been many changes in your life since you became a parent of a child with special needs, and one of them has undoubtedly been your reading list. You plow through books on your child's disability or special-needs parenting, looking for answers and inspiration. Sometimes even books written for professionals will turn up on your night table. As much as you learn from books, you also learn from watching your child -- what works and what doesn't, what causes a reaction and what stops it. Through your daily efforts at educating yourself about anything and everything that can help your child, you've earned a life-experience degree in neurology, physiology, psychology. And you learn something new every day. By Terri Mauro, About.com Guide

My "AH HA" Moment

So I'm almost 30 and just had an epiphany the other day. Well, I like to call it my "light bulb" or "ah ha" moment. After several bad relationships I've always wondered if it's something that I'm doing wrong. I mean it's like it's a pattern with men. In the past I've seemed to attract men who don't have any goals or anything going for themselves; the ones that I end up taking care of. Usually, it's been the "bad boy" type and the ones who abuse me mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically. Well, I will say my last 2 serious relationships were like that. I went thru a lot and learned a lot. Even went thru the guys cheating on me. And I always wondered, "Why is it when I'm so nice, so sweet, trustworthy, honest, and couldn't hurt a fly, I still get treated like dirt?" Well, ladies let me tell you I came to the realization that we get what we ask for. If we don't raise our standards and DEMAND to be treated with respect, then men WILL walk all over us! I am now talking to a guy who is COMPLETELY opposite from the guys I've dated in the past. He's kind, generous, honest, trustworthy, considerate, genuine, has a job, a license, a car, a place of his own, and comes from a very stable home life. I think a lot of times women don't realize how important it is for a man to come from a stable background. Usually if he sees his father treat his mother with respect he grows up knowing how to treat a woman. That's a HUGE sign to look for and something I really didn't care about before. Love makes us lower our standards and we shouldn't stoop to that. My past relationships started out with me saying what I won't put up with and I still stayed with the person even though he was doing what I didn't agree with. For too long now women have been putting up with men's crap and not standing up for what they truly deserve! When I started this blog I knew I wanted to help others to overcome the demons in their lives and to realize that everyone deserves respect, and if you're not getting it it's time to move on. So many women deal with trust issues after going thru bad relationships, and yes, that does include me. I told myself not too long ago that I didn't know how I was going to be able to trust someone again when I THOUGHT I knew the person I was with. So basically, my "light bulb" moment was...Since I finally know what I don't want and what I want in a man, I know exactly what traits to look for in a person. I won't compromise my standards or morals for someone and I won't bring my past into my present and future. So many of us think that once our heart is broken it can never be put back together and that's not true. If we don't take a chance on love and take a leap then how will we ever find TRUE love! I would much rather keep trying and possibly get hurt than not try at all. Give love a chance and don't settle for less! If you see red flags about a person then listen to your intuition. Most of the time it's much wiser to listen to your head and your gut than your heart. You never know, prince charming could be right around the corner! Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference! Still Standing Strong, Jen

My Living Miracle

This is such a great way for parents to connect with one another and to get support since we know what each other is going thru. My son Christian was born in July 2004 at 32 wks and was 3 lbs 2 oz. He has had open heart surgery, a trach, has had many other surgeries, and has a rare chromosome #7 deletion. His drs say that he is the only person ever in the whole world who has this deletion and nothing is in textbooks about it. He is 6 and doing very well! He is definitely a living miracle and I'm so blessed to have him!

New To Blogging

This is my first time blogging and I am very excited. My reason for starting this blog is to inspire others and to let people know that whatever is going on in your life you CAN overcome it. I love to brighten up someone's day and make people smile! I'm going to post quotes and uplifting things. I also wanted this to be an opportunity for single moms and even moms of special needs kids to feel free to share whatever it is on your mind. I am a single mom of a special needs son and I am truly blessed! I'm honored that God gave me the opportunity to be his mom and he is truly my living miracle. The struggles that I have seen him go through have made me a stronger person and made me realize that I have to be grateful for even the small things! Also, I have been through a lot when it comes to relationships with men and I would love to give any advice that I can. Especially to young girls in abusive relationships. I really hope that this is a start for others to connect and to realize that God created all of us for a purpose! Still Standing Strong, Jen