Saturday, June 25, 2011

Christian's Story

My son Christian was born July 3, 2004 and he was born at 32 wks. He weighed 3 lbs 2 oz and was 16 and a half inches long. He stayed in the NICU for about a month and a half. I was given 2 steroid shots to develop his lungs and he only needed oxygen for the first few hrs after birth. I knew before he was born that he had a heart condition called tetralogy of fallot and that he would need surgery. I didn't feel him moving when I woke up one morning and he hadn’t moved the night before...he always moved at night. The saying about God gives us a mother's intuition is very true. I knew I had to get to the hospital cuz something was wrong. Sure enough when he came out he was blue and the cord was wrapped around his neck, arm, and leg. The dr said if I had waited any longer to come to the hospital he would have died. When he came home from the NICU he had acid reflux which made things worse because of his heart condition. He would have blue spells(tet spells) every day just about 3 or 4 times a day. He couldn't breathe and sometimes would turn pale. It was literally like he died and came back. He was on a heart monitor that beeped every time it happened. Finally, at 7 months he had gained enough weight to get the heart surgery. That went well but a week after the surgery his left lung filled with fluid and he had a lot of breathing problems. He had to get a tracheostomy to help him breathe and had that for 2 yrs. He's now 6 and throughout his life he had to have multiple surgeries. He had hypospadias, which is where his hole on his penis is in the wrong place so they had to reconstruct that. They had to drop his testacles(they were undescended because of his prematurity), and he had kidney reflux, so had surgery for that. He had tubes in his ears and he wears glasses and hearing aids. Some drs said he may never talk or walk and he does both. He's in school and does ST, OT, PT, and works with a hearing aid specialist at school. He also has a very rare chromosome deletion. It's a partial deletion of number 7 and his drs have said that he is the ONLY person EVER in the whole world with this deletion. The only thing that they suspect is that it affected his internal organs. His geneticist in Jax FL is writing a paper on him. Since there's nothing documented in medical textbooks we are hoping that someone somewhere has heard of his particular deletion. He is extremely intelligent and extremely musically inclined. He has developmental delays but he has come such a long way. He also has an extra bone in his toe, which is unheard of, and may need surgery in the future. It's in both of his big toes so they're kind of bent. But he walks just fine. Since he has been taking ST and gotten his hearing aids his speech has improved dramatically. He also has what the drs call a thin membrane in his heart that is also very rare and may need surgery on that. His airway is still small for his age and he is still a pretty little guy. But his drs say he's normal on the growth charts. He's 6 and weighs 44 lbs. He has been thru so much but is def a survivor! I also forgot to mention that since he had the hypospadias and the undescended testicles(can be referred to as ambiguous genitalia) when he was inutero the penis looked like a vagina. So the dr said 99.9% positive it's a girl and needless to say we bought all pink, including pink dresses lol! Even when he was born they had to run tests to make sure he  didn't have any female parts internally and he didn't. His penis looked completely normal and you could clearly tell he was a boy. But since they still wanted to run their tests he didn't have a name for a little while and was the only one in the NICU who didn't have a name. Finally, when the results came back that he was all boy my dad came up with the name Christian! And one last thing...God truly does work in mysterious ways. After my son's heart surgery, he had another blue spell. He was intubated and after about a week or so they were going to extubate him. His main dr(which was awesome) said he was driving over the bridge to work and had his hands on the steering wheel and said something told him(GOD) to call the hospital ASAP and tell the drs to not remove the breathing tube yet. They didn't and later when they tried to remove it he was having significant breathing problems. His dr said that it was such a close call because of all the years he's been in practice he never saw a child as blue as Christian was. So after all that they realized that he needed the trach. He still has quite a road ahead of him but he is truly a living miracle! It’s hard to believe that 6 yrs ago I thought he might not survive. God is great and does answer prayers! I have learned thru all of this that we must thank God for every breath we take and to never take anything for granted. Sometimes the small things are really the big things!

Love Note For Parents Of Special Needs Parents

You're A Good Learner
There have been many changes in your life since you became a parent of a child with special needs, and one of them has undoubtedly been your reading list. You plow through books on your child's disability or special-needs parenting, looking for answers and inspiration. Sometimes even books written for professionals will turn up on your night table. As much as you learn from books, you also learn from watching your child -- what works and what doesn't, what causes a reaction and what stops it. Through your daily efforts at educating yourself about anything and everything that can help your child, you've earned a life-experience degree in neurology, physiology, psychology. And you learn something new every day. By Terri Mauro, About.com Guide

Friday, June 17, 2011

My "AH HA" Moment

So I'm almost 30 and just had an epiphany the other day. Well, I like to call it my "light bulb" or "ah ha" moment. After several bad relationships I've always wondered if it's something that I'm doing wrong. I mean it's like it's a pattern with men. In the past I've seemed to attract men who don't have any goals or anything going for themselves; the ones that I end up taking care of. Usually, it's been the "bad boy" type and the ones who abuse me mentally, emotionally, verbally, and physically. Well, I will say my last 2 serious relationships were like that. I went thru a lot and learned a lot. Even went thru the guys cheating on me. And I always wondered, "Why is it when I'm so nice, so sweet, trustworthy, honest, and couldn't hurt a fly, I still get treated like dirt?" Well, ladies let me tell you I came to the realization that we get what we ask for. If we don't raise our standards and DEMAND to be treated with respect, then men WILL walk all over us! I am now talking to a guy who is COMPLETELY opposite from the guys I've dated in the past. He's kind, generous, honest, trustworthy, considerate, genuine, has a job, a license, a car, a place of his own, and comes from a very stable home life. I think a lot of times women don't realize how important it is for a man to come from a stable background. Usually if he sees his father treat his mother with respect he grows up knowing how to treat a woman. That's a HUGE sign to look for and something I really didn't care about before. Love makes us lower our standards and we shouldn't stoop to that. My past relationships started out with me saying what I won't put up with and I still stayed with the person even though he was doing what I didn't agree with. For too long now women have been putting up with men's crap and not standing up for what they truly deserve! When I started this blog I knew I wanted to help others to overcome the demons in their lives and to realize that everyone deserves respect, and if you're not getting it it's time to move on. So many women deal with trust issues after going thru bad relationships, and yes, that does include me. I told myself not too long ago that I didn't know how I was going to be able to trust someone again when I THOUGHT I knew the person I was with. So basically, my "light bulb" moment was...Since I finally know what I don't want and what I want in a man, I know exactly what traits to look for in a person. I won't compromise my standards or morals for someone and I won't bring my past into my present and future. So many of us think that once our heart is broken it can never be put back together and that's not true. If we don't take a chance on love and take a leap then how will we ever find TRUE love! I would much rather keep trying and possibly get hurt than not try at all. Give love a chance and don't settle for less! If you see red flags about a person then listen to your intuition. Most of the time it's much wiser to listen to your head and your gut than your heart. You never know, prince charming could be right around the corner! Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference! Still Standing Strong, Jen

Thursday, June 16, 2011

My Living Miracle

This is such a great way for parents to connect with one another and to get support since we know what each other is going thru. My son Christian was born in July 2004 at 32 wks and was 3 lbs 2 oz. He has had open heart surgery, a trach, has had many other surgeries, and has a rare chromosome #7 deletion. His drs say that he is the only person ever in the whole world who has this deletion and nothing is in textbooks about it. He is 6 and doing very well! He is definitely a living miracle and I'm so blessed to have him!

New To Blogging

This is my first time blogging and I am very excited. My reason for starting this blog is to inspire others and to let people know that whatever is going on in your life you CAN overcome it. I love to brighten up someone's day and make people smile! I'm going to post quotes and uplifting things. I also wanted this to be an opportunity for single moms and even moms of special needs kids to feel free to share whatever it is on your mind. I am a single mom of a special needs son and I am truly blessed! I'm honored that God gave me the opportunity to be his mom and he is truly my living miracle. The struggles that I have seen him go through have made me a stronger person and made me realize that I have to be grateful for even the small things! Also, I have been through a lot when it comes to relationships with men and I would love to give any advice that I can. Especially to young girls in abusive relationships. I really hope that this is a start for others to connect and to realize that God created all of us for a purpose! Still Standing Strong, Jen